Twins?!?


Today we went to the playground and the zoo… We played bilingual matching game.

I called my husband to see if he’s coming home on time. Come to find out, he’s helping out a set of neglected 3 year old twins which only speak Spanish. He told me that child services may have to split them up, but that he said “absolutely not, we’ll bring them home” and he hung up because he had to go. If you are to ask me on a regular day if I am going to have any more children, I will give you the “death” stare, but for some reason I got giddy… “Are they hungry? Should I buy them pajamas? What do I cook? Oh my gosh, I can reach them English and it will be easier to reach the boys Spanish. We can go to the beach together!!! All of a sudden, I had a vision of being in a court room and a judge saying…” They are officially Farley’s.”

It all is crazy, I just got rid of everything and we would have to move to a bigger house. But in my heart it doesn’t matter… Something about this situation is pulling me.

I start pacing and I tell my big guy that we may be having twins staying with us for a bit. My usually “the more the merrier” child was not enthused at all. “My brother is enough.” Talk about a balloon popper🎈📌💥. Lol But he would melt… I know my little softy.

I started to call my husband over and over to ask him what I should buy… But come to find out, they are going to keep them together. But still, I got worried. Are they going to be okay? Are they going to be comfortable, will they cry tonight? My heart is squeezed at the thought.

Obviously, something is wrong with me, right?…I haven’t even meet these kids and I’m so worried about them. It feels as if I’ve loved them already.

After five hours, babe finally came home… He tells me their story and that he lent child services our car seats and told them that we will adopt the girls if need be…

Girls?!? I hadn’t even considered the fact that they are girls. Hm! My mama-in-law asked me…”don’t you think he should have asked you about this before saying he would sign up for adoption?” Funny, I did not even think about it because all I could think about was these babies. How I wanted to make them happy and loved.

Most of all, I fully trust my husband’s judgment. Especially, that big’O heart of his! So, I didn’t even think of it.

So as strange as this all sounds, I just pray that whatever happens, is in the best interest of these babies. I send them kisses in the wind, cuddles and love. May they sleep tight and dream of only sweet things.

I never thought I would feel like this over children that are not my own…seriously, this is the strangest thing that’s ever happened to me.

Sweet Dreams, Good Day, Lots of Love,

-Jahaira

My Day


My days are really shrinking especially with the sunny weather. After this past two awful winters, we spend as much time out of the house as possible. I played soccer with the boys and at the playground. Since the boys don’t go to school or daycares, I feel they haven’t played with kids enough. Well, boys.

Their cousins are girls and sometimes it is almost painful to watch them play. “Let’s get married.” “You can be a princess too!” That’s my cue… “HALT!!! Thou shall be the royal knight who slay mighty dragons!!!”

So, the past two days, I have taken them to the playground at the local elementary school to play with the kids. I don’t know why I haven’t thought of this before. They go to the play area at the gym and the grocery store, but I want them to enjoy the outdoors. They have had so much fun, they have made so many friends, but my big guy still doesn’t want to go to school. I am sure to keep doing that weather permitting even if I miss my classes at the gym.

We went out to lunch and then back home. Exhaustion came over me after cleaning the house, so I actually put the kids to watch Ghost Busters cartoons, so I could lay down for a little bit.

Mother Nature can be so cruel every month…pain, cravings, exhaustion, emotions that make you feel as if you are walking with a bee buzzing next to your ear all day, 👂🐝😒! Or as if everyone is just stopping by with the sole purpose of stepping on your heart👞👟💔😭. Did I mention being hungry alllll the time? Then just as you start to feel good, it starts all over again. I’m all over the place here, yeah… That’s another symptom.

While trying to relax, I realized that my rug smells and needs to be washed. Gross… But alas, I start to do yoga in hopes to ease what feel like labor pain. Then, I colored with the boys.

image

Guess who colored what? Daddy came home… We ate… Watched The Fox and the Hound which made me cry of course. Ate dinner…

I actually did way more than I just mentioned, but who wants to hear about what I cleaned, what stores I went into and a bunch of other details.

My point is, I’m falling behind on this blog… Reading your posts and even though, I go through my reader, it does not show every post everyone makes. Which aggravates me. So if I am missing your posts, I apologize.

But anyway, I wish you all all the love you can handle, the best of health, and for your needs to be met.

Sweet Dreams, Good Day, Lots of Love,

-Jahaira

Dinosaur Roar


image

I decided to stay up and draw, the only thing I could think of was the T-Rex toy in front of me.

I just realized something… It looks like it’s pooping… Lol there goes my maturity level.😄

At least I drew something! woooohoooo!

Handcuffed to an Oath


“…miracle weight loss…” “…Jenner transition…” “19 Kids and Counting cancelled…” “…Kardash…”

“Hi honey, how was your day at work?” I ask my husband as he enters our living room. He looks at me with those exhausted eyes after a 16 hour day at work.

“It is so crazy! I see the same thing every day…these kids getting into trouble, the parents calls us because they can’t control them and they want us to scare them straight, which I refuse to do. They say the teachers are not doing their jobs, but really they are afraid of these kids.” I watch as he drops his shoes and plops on the couch. “There are bullet holes in their walls, they know who did, but won’t tell us because they are not “rats”. How am I supposed to do my job if they don’t talk to me, but I am supposed to go find their kid in a neighborhood where people have illegal guns and hate me. As I am walking around, people are yelling “pig”, they say I’m harassing them, as if I had nothing better to do.  It turned out, the kid wasn’t missing, he was just hanging out, trying to get away to cool off after a fight he had with his parents.”

I sigh and say “I told you not to take this job! I hate it!!! I don’t care about who needs help, I care about you coming home! I worry about you, you have too good of a heart, always want to help…but people don’t care, they just see you as some jerk in uniform, they see you as a racist just because of the color of your skin AND your uniform!!! They don’t know who your wife is and they spit when you walk by, they yell ugly things at you…” I feel the anger boil…the tears from my fear of losing him…he senses my fury..

“I help a lot of people, you know…that little girl that was hiding in the closet when her house was being robbed, she gave me a hug and was so happy to see me, she was so scared, poor thing.” He knows I have a soft spot for children.

“So?” I am not giving in so easily, I still hate his job. “Quit your job, we’ll sell the house, we’ll both work…get a small house in the south, close to the beach…please?!?” That’s it, my heart done squeezed the tears out.

“My love, this is who I am…my life has meaning…I help people, there is more good than bad in this world, I just get to see the bad every day. People need help…who is going to do it if I don’t?” He’s serious.

“Batman, Superman…I don’t care as long as it’s not you!” I say crossing my arms to show that I still don’t care. And of course he puts his arms around me now, making the tears flow more like a river. I know my face is blotchy and I can’t breath through my nose.

“You are being stubborn. 15 more years until I can retire-“

“That is if you’re not DEAD!!! Look at the rioting, the way people talk, LOOK AT ALL THE INJURIES YOU’VE GOTTEN FROM YOUR JOB…YOUR NECK…ALL OF THE TIME YOU MISSED OF THE KIDS BECAUSE YOU ARE IN PAIN!!! THINGS ARE GETTING WORST!!! I realize I am borderline yelling because I am so scared, scared he won’t come home from work one of these days, scared that I’d have to explain to the kids why daddy is not coming home, afraid that I will have to spend the rest of my life alone…without the man that showed me that I am someone worth loving, that I will die from a broken heart. I take a deep breath. “You are getting hurt by people that are hurting other people-“

“That I stop from hurting other people.” He says calmly…but my fear has no limit.

“For 5 minutes, because the judges always let them out.” I spat at him…

“It takes  a second to pull a trigger…I take guns off the streets…I have to believe that I am saving someone to make this worth it. Would you rather me quit my job and do something meaningless to me and be unhappy?”

“I don’t help people-“

“People like me, need people like you to keep on.”

“I hate your stupid job…” I say knowing I’m not going to win this…”Please…just…be safe.” I’m defeated.

“Always…”

“Don’t do anything alone!”

“Never.”

“Be last at gun calls.”

“Can’t promise you that.”

“Always wear your seatbelt!”

“That, I  can promise!!!” He says knowing I’m almost done with my checklist.

“Take the calls to help the old people.”

“You know I do.”

(One time he took this lady to the hospital, promised her he’d feed her cat, which he did, visited her, they even called him right before she died, he went to see her and she died right after he left.) Being out of things to make him promise, I finally say…”Please promise me you’ll always come home to me.”

“I Promise”

He knows I take promises seriously, and he promised me he’ll always come home to me, so that means he can’t die while working because he’s going to be safe, because the world needs good people like him. He has to come home now… he promised.

“What were you looking at?” He asks knowing I am obsessing over his job in my head.

“Just the news…nothing important.” and just like that, the conversation is over.

This began as a #BlogBattle story in which

the word of the week is NEWS.

Not knowing if it is suitable for younger readers I will not submit the story.

Thank you for reading!!!

~Jahaira