Mind Busy

 I’ve been bothered by something for quite some time. 

My sister’s boyfriend threw a TV that landed on her 4 year old son. Scares her 9 year old to pieces and beats her in front of her kids. He even slapped her for for hanging out with me. But yet, he’s her best friend. 

While my mom was here, we were talking about what to do about her kids. But my mom stopped, looked at me and said. “Be careful with your sister…” It shook me to the core.

I know from when we were little, she says I’ve been the favorite. Although, being the oldest, I had the most responsibility, and was not allowed to do things if she complained. But I never thought it would carry into adulthood.

 Anyway, my mom proceeded to tell me that when my sister found out I was pregnant with my 3rd, she called my mom hysterically asking…”why does she get the house, the husband, the babies? It’s not fair! Why does she get a perfect life and I don’t?” My life is far from perfect, but that’s not the point.

My baby news caused her to have a total mental breakdown. She then became pregnant with the guy that beats her. And what happens? Her baby dies…

Now, she went off the depend and I tried to help her, but when I’d have her over for dinner at my house, she would look at my baby with a look that honestly made me nervous inside. I felt like I needed to protect him from her.

And that was before my mom said that to me. “Be careful with your sister. She is very jealous of you and I’m afraid of what she may do.”

Was it okay for mom to say this to me?

I took my mom’s advice though and I just backed off. CPS can’t do anything about her kids and I need to protect mine. A double edge sword.

A couple months went by and then she contacted me with what seem a complete turn around. She had gone from talking in the most negative way, to saying she missed me and was sad that our friendship had broken.

Originally, it broke because she tried to cause arguments between me and my husband. She didn’t understand how I could take his side over hers. Well, one, my husband is number one, unless I know he’s wrong and two, I know when she’s trying to pull BS on me. 

Anyway, I’ve had her over the house in the past three weeks. I think it’s good for my niece and nephew. But still, I don’t know if I’m being paranoid, but I’m scared. If that weird? Even though now she seems to be in love with my baby, I’m nervous.

Then today, my niece slipped and I found out she’s still with this pathetic guy. I guess I suspected it, but the way I feel is… If she can love an abusive guy more than her kids, then she will care less for mine. So, it worries me. 

I don’t even know how to go about this. It’s very frustrating and heartbreaking.  

Am I being paranoid?

This is almost a “if something happens to me, the first suspect should be my sister and her boyfriend. Is that sad?

What am I to do?


4 thoughts on “Mind Busy

  1. I am so sorry to hear about this dilemma in your life. I can understand why you feel the way you do. It is truly and confusing place to be. When I am confused and I don’t know what to do, I bend a knee. I pray for God’s direction and I wait for Him to move. Lord, I pray for peace in Jahaira’s heart. May you grant her clear direction in how to approach her relationship with her sister. Grant her wisdom to say the words that will encourage and bless her sister and bring her family safely out of harms way. Lord, nothing is impossible for you. Reveal yourself to Jahaira and may she experience your peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. There are many times in my life when I have not had the answers. Many nights I prayed for God to reveal himself to me. And when I least expected it, and from the least expected source, my answer was clear as day and my heart was filled with peace. I pray the same for you my friend. Blessings.


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